I Don't Believe It Either

The day was going so well too. That's what made the whole thing so completely ridiculous.

Well, that and the fact that grown women don't usually end up with an entire chocolate egg cream inside their laser printer.

Is it the full moon yet? It has to be close. I've been feeling disconnected, like my head is about to separate itself from my shoulder and float off into space.

The good thing is that the writing has been clicking. And it better because the book is due yesterday. A metaphorical yesterday to be sure but trust me when I say I'd better finish sooner rather than later. And I need to blog. And there are emails to answer and promo materials to send out. You know the drill. Life just keeps on coming at you whether or not you're ready for it.

Which was why late yesterday afternoon I decided I deserved a break from work. A little Sopranos on tv. A little knitting. And an ice cold chocolate egg cream. I added the chocolate syrup. I stirred in the milk. I agitated the seltzer and admired the nice white foam. Then I made my fatal mistake. I carried it into the family room, placed it on the ledge of the end table where I had the printer and--

The truth? I don't even know what the hell happened. I've tried to reconstruct the disaster but I can't get beyond seeing myself placing the glass down on the table. The scene jumps from there to floods of egg cream pouring from the printer and flooding over the table and pooling in great sticky ponds of chocolate on the carpet.

I had myself a swell time cleaning up. Did you ever carry a printer upside down, dripping egg cream, to the kitchen sink? Did you ever put your printer in your dish drainer? Did you ever try to pour chocolate egg cream out of your toner cartridge?

Did you ever feel like grabbing your knitting, your laptop, and your American Express card and running away from home?

Welcome to my world.