Unintended Consequences

Read this (my guest blog over at Fresh Fiction) and then we'll talk.

Finished? Okay. Everything I said about my movie-going experience was 100% true. The happily-ever-after ending thrilled the audience, right down to the I-can't-believe-they're-actually-doing-this scene where Big slips a Manolo (or was it a Choo?) on Carrie's bare foot. (Why didn't they just name her Cinderella and be done with it?)

Now you know I was just about the biggest Sex and the City scholar around. I'm telling you I analyzed those episodes. I can repeat the dialogue. I've spent hours wondering how a female-centric show managed to convey so much about the characters by revealing so little in the way of back story. I mean, we're all about the back story, aren't we?

I went to see the movie during its first week. I even cried in a spot or two. So how come I haven't watched a single episode of the TV show since? Not one. Not through HBO On Demand. on one of my recently-replaced DVDs.

For some reason I no longer care. While the movie hit many right notes, there was a lot about it that was dead wrong. The length, for example. A judicious 30 minute pruning would have helped enormously. And while you're at it, ditch the hideous scene where Carrie tries on her entire closet while Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha watch. And ditch the Fashion Week scene while you're at it. And in case you've forgotten, NYC is the fifth character in SATC. The show doesn't work in any other city. The LA scenes were dreadful. The Mexico scenes weren't any better. Stay where you belong, girls. You just don't translate across the Hudson. (Or the Rio Grande, for that matter.)

I wish I could put my finger on what killed the buzz for me. Maybe it's the fact that my idea of Mr. Right isn't a guy who turns into a wuss the night before the wedding and bolts just because you don't pick up your cell phone. Not to mention he's already a two-time loser. Call me psychic, but this doesn't bode well for the future.

How can you base a happy ending on uncertainty? A romantic happy ending is based on the possibility of forever. I'm not sure Carrie and Big will make it to next Thursday.

I loved wondering what happened to the girls after the show ended.

Now that I know, I'm not so thrilled.